A Ceremony of Farewell

A Ceremony of Farewell

The liturgies, celebrations, ceremonies, prayers, and reflections offered on this blog are the result of my thoughts, reflections, and experiences, woven together using my own words and sometimes adapting the words others have used:

I am indebted to their wisdom.

Please note that the Rites of Passage liturgies are offered as templates,

and should be adapted as appropriate for your particular gathering.

This ceremony of farewell is appropriate for use by any group of people,

or by any individual, saying good bye to a loved one who has died.

Everyone is invited to join in saying the words in

large bold type.

Music as we arrive:

Opening Words (from Ecclesiastes 3):

For everything there is a season,

and a time for every purpose under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die;

a time to mourn and a time to dance.

We meet here today because N has died and the life we shared with her has come to an end. This is a time of loss and sadness, but it can also be a time of thankfulness, as we remember N’s life and all she means to us and shared with us. Death does not bring to an end N’s influence, nor the love and respect in which she is held: these will continue to be powerful for as long as she is remembered. The sadness and pain that we feel is because N has crossed over the boundary between the life God gives us in this world and the new life beyond death, which lies beyond our seeing, our hearing, or our imagining; and we cannot cross that threshold to be with N, and all those whom we love, until our own time comes.

Prayer:

Creator God, Lord of life and death,

you renew our inner strength, you touch our imaginations,
you enable us to find meaning in all life’s changing circumstances.

Embrace us in our uncertainties, and lift our hope, as we ask for your blessing on our ceremony of thanksgiving and honouring the life of N.

Our hearts are grieving because N, whom we love, has died.

Her death reminds us that our lives are brief

and will one day come to an end.

We are thankful for those who cared for N

with wisdom, skill, love and patience;

and we ask that those who are sick or hurt may find healing,

those who are in distress be comforted,

and those who are grieving be given strength.

Give courage to all who mourn.

Comfort them when their pain seems unrelenting

and help us to offer support and comfort,

to know when to speak and when to be silent.

As we remember N with gratitude and celebrate her life,

we also give thanks to God for all whom we love

who have passed from our sight.

Grant us, gracious Lord, the sense that we remain united with them,

until at last we all come home to you.

Amen.

Hymn/song:

Reading/s:

Remembering with Thanksgiving:

Let us affirm and celebrate N’s journey through life, with all its realities:

A tribute/tributes may be given

Whoever wishes to light a candle in thanksgiving for N's life

is invited to do so now, and as we do so,

let us gather our thoughts and feelings about her,

and silently say those words we always wanted to say to her.

Silence is kept as candles are lit

To love someone is to risk the pain of parting,

and not to love is never to have lived:

     N, we honour your life, we accept your departure,

     and we cherish your memory.

Eternal God, hear us, as in our thoughts, and with these candles,

we remember and give thanks for N:

             Thank you for giving her to us,

             for everything she achieved during her life, by your grace,

             and for the (special characteristics e.g. warmth, tenderness, humour...)

               which she embodied.

We praise you that for N all suffering and sorrow are ended,

death itself is past, and she lives for ever in your love and care.

In the midst of sorrow we boldly affirm our faith

that there is nothing in all creation that can separate us from your love.

We praise you for your precious gift of life, for giving N to be with us,

and for the journey we have shared with her on earth.

      Help us to release N as she journeys on,

      confident that death is a crossing over

      into new and richer experiences of your love and grace.

Bring us bright memories of N, to keep the fires of love for her alive.

Open our hearts, to let our tears and our love flow,

bringing us healing and renewal;

and grant us strength as we remember the strengths and wisdoms of N,

who is embraced for ever in your love.

     While we live N will not be forgotten;

     in your eternal love, she will never be lost.

     May our memories of her enrich our lives;

     may the good things of her life leave a trace on earth,

     and may your keeping of her glorify your heaven. Amen.

Hymn/Song:

Releasing in Hope:

 

All matter originated in the burst of heat and light

which created our galaxy billions of years ago.

We are made of the same stuff

as the stars, the planets, and this earth itself,

which we know in this life as our home.

And so, in grief at N's death, but in gratitude for her life,

and for the privilege of sharing it with her,

we commit N's body to the elements from which we all came,

earth to earth, ashes to ashes, star-dust to star-dust;

and we commit her being to all that is eternal.

     God who gives us life, and in whose arms we die,

     we entrust N to your safe keeping.

Receive N as one of your own, and may she rest,

free from illusion, pain or regret, for ever in your peace.

     Amen.

The Closing Words:

Eternal God, who unites as one the people on earth

and the company of your heavenly kingdom,

may we know and rejoice that we are within your community of saints,

         both the living and the dead.

             May we praise you with our lives,

             as the angels praise you in heaven.

             Cheer us with the hope of your eternal life,

             support us with the knowledge of your love,

             and bring us all home to you at last.

The peace and the blessing of God

be with you all, now and for evermore.

     Amen.

Music as we leave: