A
Ceremony of Joining: The
Betrothal of N&N
Set
out a circle of chairs (one for each person attending) and four
candles, on safe stands, at the four points of the compass outside
the circle. You will also need matches (to light the candles),
betrothal rings, a long piece of cord, ribbon or scar, small gifts
for each person present, a broom and, if possible, a sword or knife,
within a sheath for safety until it is used. Please
use common sense and ensure everyone's safety when using matches,
candles, and blades.
Please
note that the Rites of Passage liturgies are offered as templates,
and
should be adapted as appropriate for your particular gathering.
There
may be one leader, or you can take it in turns around the circle of
speak the biddings. Everyone is invited to join in saying the words
in bold type.
The
liturgies, celebrations, ceremonies, prayers, and reflections offered
on this blog are the result of my thoughts, reflections, and
experiences, woven together using my own words and sometimes adapting
the words others have used: I am indebted to their wisdom. Please use
these liturgies freely, adapting them as suits your own context. I am
always pleased to hear from people who have used them.
Opening
words: The Song
of Songs 8.6-7
Set
me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm;
for
love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave.
Its
flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame.
Many
waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.
If
one offered for love all the wealth of his house,
it
would be utterly scorned.
The
couple (N&N) now light candles and enter the circle of friends.
Song:
(chosen by N1)
Reading/s:
(chosen by N&N)
Song:
(chosen by N2)
The
exchange of vows and of rings:
N: I,
N, come here of my own free will,
in
perfect love and perfect trust, to be betrothed this day to N.
N: I,
N, come here of my own free will,
in
perfect love and perfect trust, to be betrothed this day to N.
N&N
tog.: We ask that you will bear witness to the vows that we make this
day.
All: We
will bear witness to your vows.
N: We
present ourselves before you today to ratify,
in
solemn and joyful manner, the espousal bespoken between us.
N:
We have given serious, delighted, and prayerful deliberation
to
our pledge of wedlock, and in the time that intervenes
we
will prepare for our marriage.
N: I,
N, promise that I will take thee N, as my wife,
and
love thee even as myself.
I
will keep faith and loyalty to thee, and so in thy necessities
aid
and comfort thee; which things, and all that man ought to do
unto
his espoused, I promise to do unto thee,
and to keep by the faith
that is in me;
and thereto I plight thee my troth.
N: I,
N, promise that I will take thee N, as my husband,
and
love thee even as myself.
I
will keep faith and loyalty to thee, and so in thy necessities
aid
and comfort thee; which things, and all that woman ought to do
unto
her espoused, I promise to do unto thee,
and
to keep by the faith that is in me; and thereto I plight thee my
troth.
N
& N exchange rings, saying to each other:
With
this ring I join my life to yours.
All: We
bear witness to your solemn proposal
and
declare you betrothed!
We
will support you as you walk forward in your life together.
May
God bless your bodies and your souls,
and
may the hand of the Lord be upon you,
to
guard you all the days of your life, and keep you in peace.
N&N
tog.: In Thee, O Lord, do we put our trust: Let us never be
confounded.
The
Blessing and Binding of the Bann:
The
Bann is a long piece of cord, ribbon, or scarf
N:
This is the Bann, the cord of hand-fasting,
which
will bind us together with bonds of love.
For
such bonds to be strong, they need the support
of
love, of friendship and of God.
All: God
of all faithfulness, bless N and N with sincerity
and
give them your grace.
May
they know that their love is your will and your delight.
May
the promises they have made govern the life they will lead.
May
your presence surround them, your peace encourage them,
and
your light strengthen and guide them. Amen.
N: We
ask now that each of you give us your own support,
letting it flow as
loving strength into the Bann as it is passed around the circle.
The
Bann is passed around the circle.
N
and N join their right hands, saying:
N: I
give you my hand for our future marriage
N: and
I give you mine
They
now join their left hands, saying:
N: Take
my hand as a symbol of my love
N: Take
my hand as a symbol of my love
Two
friends wrap the Bann loosely around the clasped hands
All: With
this cord we bind you to the vows you have made
and
to each other.
The
binding is not tied, so neither is restricted by the other,
and
the binding is only enforced by both your wills.
N&N
tog.: Heart to thee, soul to thee, body to thee,
within
the love of God, so mote it be.
All: May
God smile upon this union and bless you with health and prosperity.
For
remember, what one may not provide, the other may.So you are bound, in the light of the Lord, each to the other,
until the end of all your days.
The
Ritual of the Broom & the Sword:
A
friend now uses a broom to sweep around the betrothed couple, saying:
With
this broom I symbolically sweep away
whatever
in your past you no longer need to carry into your future together.
S/he
then lays the broom down diagonally across the entrance to the
circle.
A
friend raises a sword into the air, and turns it in a complete
circle, saying:
With
this sword I symbolically carve an opening
for
your entry into your future together.
S/he
then lays the sword down diagonally across the broom.
With
hands still clasped and bound together,
N&N
step over the crossed broom and sword, saying:
There
is no obstacle in our past, present or future
that
we will not overcome so long as we are together.
N
and N then walk around the outside of the circle of friends.
As
they disentangle their hands from the Bann,
they
give everyone a small token of friendship.
They
then lead everyone out of the circle
to
applause &/or to singing.
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