Ceremony of Farewell to a Child

A Ceremony of Farewell to a Child

The liturgies, celebrations, ceremonies, prayers, and reflections offered on this blog are the result of my thoughts, reflections, and experiences, woven together using my own words and sometimes adapting the words others have used:

I am indebted to their wisdom.

Please note that the Rites of Passage liturgies are offered as templates,

and should be adapted as appropriate for your particular gathering.

This ceremony of farewell is appropriate for use by any group of people,

or by any individual, saying good bye to a beloved child who has died.

Everyone is invited to join in saying the words in large bold type.

Music as we arrive:

Opening Words:

We meet here today because N has died and the little time we shared with her has come to an end. This is a time of parting and sadness, but it is also a time to give thanks for all that N means to us and shared with us, and to console one another in her loss. Death marks for all of us the boundary between the life God gives in this world and the new life beyond death. We stand here on that boundary, which N has stepped over, but we believe will be re-united with her, and with all our loved ones when our own time comes.

Prayer:

Creator God, Lord of life and death,

help us to find meaning in all life’s changing circumstances.

Embrace us in our uncertainties, and lift our hope,

as we ask for your blessing on our ceremony of thanksgiving for N,

and in our parting from her.

Our hearts are grieving, because N, whom we love, has died.

We remember before you those who lovingly

cared for N and ministered to her needs…

Give courage to all who mourn, especially…

Comfort them when their pain seems unrelenting,

and help us to offer support and solace,

and to know when to speak and when to be silent.

We give thanks for N’s life with us,

and for all whom we love who have passed from our sight.

Help us know that we remain united with them,

until at last we all come home to you.

     Amen.

Hymn/song:

Reading/s:

There is a place prepared for little children,

           those we once lived for, those we deeply mourn,

           those who from play, from learning, and from laughter, cruelly were torn.

There is a place where hands which held ours tightly

now are released beyond all hurt and fear,

healed by that love which also feels our sorrow, tear after tear.

There is a place where all the lost potential

yields its full promise, finds its lost intent;

silenced no more, young voices echo freely as they were meant.

There is a place where God will hear our questions,

suffer our anger, share our speechless grief,

gently repair the innocence of loving and of belief.

Jesus, who bids us be like little children,

shields those our arms are yearning to embrace.

God will ensure that all are reunited.

There is a place.

Remembering with Thanksgiving:

Let us affirm and celebrate N’s brief journey with us through this life:

A tribute/tributes may be given

Whoever wishes to light a candle in thanksgiving for N's life

is invited to do so now.

As the candles are lit, let us gather our thoughts and feelings about her,

and silently say those words we wanted to say to her

but never had the chance.

Prayer:

Eternal God, hear us, as in our thoughts, and with these candles,

we give thanks for N, and for the time she was with us here on earth.

                 Thank you for giving N to us;

thank you for everything we were able to give her,

to receive from her, and to share with her.

We praise you that for N all suffering is ended, death itself is past,

and she lives for ever in your love and care.

Grant us bright memories of our beloved N,

keep the fires of our love for her alive,

and open our hearts, so that our love and our tears flow,

to bring healing and renewal.

                  Amen.

Hymn/Song:

Releasing in Hope:

All matter originated in the burst of heat and light

which created our universe billions of years ago.

We are made of the same stuff as the stars, the planets,

and this earth itself, which we know in this life as our home.

And so, in grief at N's death, but in gratitude for her life,

and for the privilege of sharing it with her,

we commit N's body to the elements from which we all came,

earth to earth, ashes to ashes, star-dust to star-dust;

and we commit her being to all that is eternal.

Silence is kept

God who gives us life, and in whose arms we die,

we entrust N to your safe keeping.

Help us to release N as she journeys beyond us,

in the faith that that nothing in all creation

can ever separate us from each other within your love.

Receive N as one of your own, and may she rest for ever in your peace.

     Amen.

Parting words:

Into the freedom of wind and sunshine:

     We let you go.

Into the dance of the stars and the planets:

     We let you go.

Into the wind’s breath and the hands of the star maker:

     We let you go.

Closing Words:

Eternal God, who unites as one the people on earth

and the company of your heavenly kingdom,

may we know and rejoice that we are within your community of saints,

         both the living and the dead.

         May we praise you with our lives, as the angels praise you in heaven.

         Cheer us with the hope of your eternal life,

         support us with the knowledge of your love,

         and bring us all home to you at last.

         And may the peace and the blessing of God

         be with us all, now and for evermore.

             Amen.

Music as we leave: